Color me conflicted.....

.....but then send me flowers anyway, because I've got some good news: I've got a new job! Or, I will have a new job on January 11th, when I take over as the resident stage manager of the Second City ETC. On the one hand, yay! But then on the other hand, now I have to leave Columbia. I've gotten better and better over the years about not being so wishy-washy, but the fact remains that making a choice always involves making a sacrifice. That, and I'm just bad at endings. Quitting a job and breaking up with a girlfriend are quite possibly the two things I hate most in the world.

Questions that this huge change in my life raises:

-- Will I actually be happier at this job? I've lost count of how many "dream jobs" I've finally landed, only to be bitterly disappointed with the reality. Wait, no I haven't -- there've been five.

-- If you work for a company that has a MySpace profile, are you morally obligated to add it as your friend?

-- Will I survive the changeover? I've promised Columbia that I will stay until they find a replacement, or until ETC goes into the process of writing their next show (currently scheduled to happen in April). But that could mean as much as 3 months of working both jobs! Good for the checkbook, not so good for the sleeping.

-- Will this affect my social life for better or worse? On the one hand, I will be more likely to hang out with my co-workers. On the other hand, I will never be able to go out on a Friday or Saturday night again. On the third hand, I might end up a bitter alcoholic.

-- Will it matter if I end up a bitter alcoholic, as long as I get my name on the big alumni list in the front window of the theater? The day I first see my name up there on the same list with Bill Murray and John Belushi, et al, will be a high point of my life.

-- Can self-promotion serve as a Moment of Zen?