Blog-worthy.

The holidays are a busy, busy time. I've been meaning to post for so long now that it's almost physically painful to me. BUT -- here I am at last with at least a quick recap of my wonderful trip to EUREKA ("I have found it!"), California.

I got up very early on Friday morning and headed down to the airport. Everything went perfectly, and I winged my way to Phoenix for a brief layover, and then on to Sacramento. There, I rented a car and drove on up to Nan and Shawn's place in Eureka. There was a little confusion as Google Maps sent me on a route that may have been physically the shortest, but involved much winding and twisting and ended up taking longer than it could have. It was a nice drive though, and I arrived in plenty of time, so I wasn't complaining.

The main purpose of the trip was to see the production of Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" that Nan was in (as Cinderella). The role was double cast, so on Friday night we went and saw the other girl so the part, and then on Saturday I was able to see it with Nan. It was a classic community theater production, and I enjoyed myself immensely. Nan was great -- almost TOO great, as she was clearly several levels above the rest of the cast, but having seen both versions it was clear that she inspired many of the others in the show (especially the Prince) to really shine when she was there.

On Saturday we had a... [searches for the right word while flailing arms as if boxing short people] ...lovely breakfast with Nan's friend Serena, shopped for awhile, and then saw "Eragon." (It wasn't as lame as I had feared, and Jeremy Irons turned in a much better performance than he did in "Dungeons and Dragons," although John Malkovich was apparently sleepwalking when they filmed his scenes.) Then we went to the show, and out for drinks afterward.

On Sunday we went out for breakfast again, then returned to their house to relax. Shawn left to do some work on a construction project he'd been hired for, Nan took a nap, and I read and watched some football. In the afternoon, Nan was performing in a Christmas concert at her church, so I dropped her off to rehearse and drove up the coast to sightsee a bit (pictures below). Then I came back for the concert, which was really nice. Nan and Serena both did an amazing job -- they are fantastically talented singers! After the concert, we met Shawn and went to a Hanukkah party, which we left after a couple of hours to get to the "Cinderella" cast party. Phew!




And on Monday morning I had to bolt out pretty early. But I got better directions and ended up right in the middle of the Redwood Forest on one of the most beautiful drives I've ever been on! I got to Sacramento right on time, and headed home. And here's the most amazing, unbelievable part of the trip:

THE AIRLINE GOT ME HOME HALF AN HOUR EARLY!

I know! Can you believe it? Way to go, Southwest!

Other tidbits:

- I ran into Phil and Callie at the baggage claim on my way home. I don't know if they read this, but hey, it was great to see you guys!

- If you didn't see the Colbert Report last night, you missed one of the funniest half hours ever to air on television. I bought it from iTunes today, so come over if you want to watch it!

- I'm heading to Muskegon tomorrow evening, and will be in and out of town for the next two weeks. I don't know how often I'll be at a computer, so consider this your official Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Joyous New Year wish!!

And now, here it is -- your Moment of Christmas Zen:

Fruity zen.

Ran across a photo set of labels from old fruit and vegetable shipping crates. Some were beautiful, some were racist, and some were sexually suggestive. Here are a few of the latter:

Niiiice.

"Put the Marduk back in Zagmuk!"

And if that wasn't Zen enough for you, here it is.....

Color me amused.

This made me laugh out loud: it's a Flash-based video game called "Asteroid's Revenge"! Remember the old-school video game "Asteroids"? Well, this is essentially the same game, except you play as the asteroid, trying to destroy as many of the little spaceships as possible. Hilarious!

Just call me Diego.

I'm famous! And not just for the Mean Girls thing (which has come up several times recently!), either. One of Columbia's film students has been shooting some scenes here in the theater building and I helped them out with a few things, so he gave me a credit on the film and now I'm listed on the IMDB!

Bwah-hah-ha!

And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

(This would be the character of Shane Oman from the movie)

Time for random!

Nothing personal to tell today, but here's some interesting stuff:

- There's a little group of us who get together to watch football. One of the guys has a high-definition television, which looks great for DVDs and video games, but he won't pay the extra for high-def cable, so watching television on it sucks. Consequently the rest of us refuse to go to his place to watch the games. This has led us to many discussions of the pros and cons of HD. Here is an interesting article about the problems they are having in Canada with switching to HD cable.

- I know I'm a geek, but I find the current case before the Supreme Court on patent law really interesting. Partly because we did a Galileo show for a bunch of patent lawyers recently and I learned a lot about the process, so now I'm fascinated. The main thing they're debating on is the test to determine if an invention was "obvious," because if it is, then you can't patent it. Umm... did anyone read recently about McDonald's trying to patent their methods of making sandwiches?

- In other legal news, a federal judge has ruled that American money is unfair to blind people. I can kind of understand the thinking here, and I certainly won't oppose anything that makes our money more interesting, but the Rehabilitation Act that they cite was passed 33 years ago! If it was REALLY that much of a burden on blind people, wouldn't someone have said something before now?

- Y'all know how much I love me some Garrison Keillor, even though I dissed Prairie Home Companion earlier this week. Anyway, he's been doing some editorials over the last year that the Tribune has been carrying and I've been enjoying. Here's today's, on the Three C's of Christmas: Cookies, candles and carols. A good summary of the modern holiday.

- Oh, and speaking of Prairie Home Companion, I'm sure that most of you have heard that Robert Altman passed away last week. And many of you have probably heard about Lindsey Lohan's misguided sympathy letter to Mr. Altman's family. If you haven't, she made a few mistakes: 1) She didn't use spellcheck. 2) She didn't have anyone proofread it to see if it was appropriate. 3) And then she released it to the press, instead of sending it directly to the family. So. She's stupid. We knew that. But here's a fun opinion column about the resulting scandal, which amusingly turns into a the-British-are-cooler-than-we-are rant!

- And as long as we're discussing opinion columns, that bastard Mark Steyn (who I can't seem to stop reading) has a great one about the old stupid-people-have-more-babies story, this time centering on religion.

- DC Comics has announced the creation of a new line of titles aimed at teenage girls. My niece is three. Is it too early to start buying them for her? I could just save them up, and then she'd have a complete set when she was ready.....

- Ran across a new band today called Matt & Kim. Check out their new video on YouTube - it's HILARIOUS!

Many of you who read this blog don't live in the big city and have never worked at an arts college, so I'm sure that some of you must wonder what my life is like. Let me assure you, it's as crazy as you think it is! I've documented a couple of interesting things that happened to me in the last 24 hours, so here they are - your Moments of Zen:

Jive turkey.

I'm back in Chicago after a great Thanksgiving trip down to North Carolina. Had a lot of delicious food, hung out with family and friends, shot guns. Very relaxing!







Actually, it really was very relaxing and fun. I love spending time down there.

I got in late Wednesday night. Travel was surprisingly easy and uncongested. I was worried for nothing.

Thursday was all about cooking and eating. Duh. For dinner it was myself, my mother, my stepfather Pat, their friends Joan and Scott, and Joan and Scott's daughter Lauren. Everything was delicious!

Friday morning we biked into town for coffee, relaxed in the afternoon, then went out for another fantastic dinner. We went with Joan and Scott and Lauren and Pat's mother Ann to a local restaurant called Sean's. While biking in the morning, we went past a house that had burned down the day before. That'll put being thankful in perspective for you!

Saturday we did some shopping, some shooting, and saw "Casino Royale" in the evening. Pat convinced my mother to take up target shooting, and none of us could quite believe it. But now that I've gone with them, I can testify that it really is fun. Don't you love my hat in that completely unflattering picture above? And the movie was quite good as well. I haven't been very impressed with Bond since Connery (my favorite would be a tie between "Goldfinger" and "Thunderball"), and while I wouldn't say this one is good enough to rescue the entire franchise, it's a good start and an entertaining movie.

And yesterday I flew home. Good times.

[One downside, when I made my plans, the Bears game was scheduled for 1pm. But it got changed to 4pm, and I ended up missing most of it, and they lost like they always do when I'm not watching. Sorry, Lovie. I take full responsibility.]

Shazbat.

That was the made-up swear word they would use on "Mork and Mindy." I like it better than frak, and if I said hraka, no one would get it.

Anyway, I wanted to get a post in before I leave town tomorrow. Here are some quick hits:

- Here's the promised update: The second date didn't go as well as the first, and I've called a halt to the proceedings. Alas. No fault; I just wasn't feeling the chemistry. That's all I'm going to say about it here.

- The final mainstage show of the semester at Columbia is done and struck. There are two student projects going on this week, but once they're done tomorrow life will be much quieter. Huzzah!

- Had a nice weekend, despite having to be at work a lot. Saw "Stranger Than Fiction" and enjoyed it. Spotted at least six people that I know in the cast (much of it was filmed in Chicago). Had brunch w/ Jason and Kate and Lilly on Saturday, which is always lovely (sadly I'll have to miss Lilly's birthday party while gone this weekend). And I even got to see all of the Bears victory on Sunday!

- My nephew Xavier is on YouTube, reading a Halloween story that he wrote which won a contest at the local library. Congratulations, X-man!

- And now a few things going on in the world that I wanted to draw your attention to:

--- Galactus is coming! (Hilarious parody of what a religious tract might look like in the Marvel Universe.)

--- Obama is cooler than you are. (Politician apologizes for making fun of reporter after finding out that it hurt the reporter's chances with a chick.)

--- Viagra spill revives Lake Michigan. (I never noticed before how much the shape of the lake resembles a flaccid penis.)

--- Comic book science in real life: When you build your own nuclear reactor in the basement, you don't end up a super-villain, you just get written about in the Detroit Free Press.

--- Taco Bell tries to kill video gamers. (Well, actually what they did was offer to give free tacos for life to anyone who would donate their new PS3 system to a Boys & Girls Club, but given the quality of their food, I think that amounts to attempted murder.)

--- Hobo is a funny word. (And that article uses it 11 times!)

--- And lastly, I'd like to talk about a little cultural dilemna I've been having. For those of you who don't know, about a month ago "This American Life" (which is pretty much the best radio show ever, in my opinion - sorry, PHC) finally got out of their contract with audible.com and was able to start offering their program as a free podcast. They are also now selling back episodes on the iTunes Music Store. Which leads me to my dilemna. I was a subscriber to the show on Audible for a long time, and have about 100 episodes of the show stored up. Now I'm subscribing to the podcast and getting even more. And I am gradually accumulating the back episodes because they rerun them a lot. But there are over 300 episodes total! So, the question is: should I bother spending money on collecting the old episodes from iTunes? I must admit that I'm a bit of a completist, and would LOVE to be able to say that I have every episode. But would I ever even listen to them all? I don't know. Anyway, if anyone wants to give me an iTunes gift card for Christmas, now you pretty much know what I would spend it on. : )


And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

Young at heart.

Today I was reading a review of Scott McCloud's "Making Comics" on the Onion AV Club website, and they said:

"Scott McCloud wrote his masterpiece, Understanding Comics, at the age of 33, and isn't likely to surpass it. This complete aesthetic theory in a friendly cartoon format catapulted him out of the comics ghetto and into respectability. It's probably inevitable that his other non-fiction books, Reinventing Comics and now Making Comics, read like supplements rather than new revelations. But there's nothing dishonorable in spending a lifetime exploring the land one discovers in one's youth, and in Making Comics, McCloud gives the industry one of its best how-to manuals, along with a flurry of exercises to spark creativity. And as with his best work, the core insights of Making Comics have application far beyond the realm of funny-books."

What's exciting about this? They refer to age 33 as his "youth"!! Maybe I'm not so old as I've been feeling lately. : )

In the meantime, I've been wandering down memory lane recently in a Gen-X reference-a-thon with a friend via e-mail, so here it is - your Moment of Zen:

Some strange.

Hee hee. I doubt many of you will know what that post title refers to, but those who do have just screamed like little girls. : )

Anyway, I don't have much to say, but there were a few strange stray thoughts I thought I'd jot down:

- I had a date on Sunday! Please don't faint. (She's probably reading this, 'cause it's one of the first things to come up if you Google me, so "Hi, Lisa!") It went really well. We're going out again on Thursday. I'll keep you posted.

- Between the date, and the new job, and the Bears' AMAZING victory on Sunday, I'm feeling fairly lucky these days. Thank goodness I sucked so hard at bowling last night. I was beginning to worry about what kind of payment the karma gods might demand.

- Only a week to go until I can get out of here for Thanksgiving! I can't wait -- I need a vacation!

- I'm re-reading "Infinite Jest" these days -- if you've never read it, it's amazing. Although the ending made me really mad the first time I finished it, it's still totally my kind of book.

- It's time to start getting the Christmas music ready. I just ordered the Aimee Mann Christmas CD that I mentioned here earlier, as well as Sufjan Stevens' new holiday box set (I needed to order both to get the free shipping).

- Ooh, that post a couple of days ago about mentors? It was my 200th post! That doesn't really mean anything, but it's kind of exciting nonetheless.

- Damn... I'm sure there was more I meant to say. I'll update this as I think of it. I must run off to dinner now and then come back to work to watch a student show. Joy.



And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:


It's not the heat, it's the huge manatee.

Riding off into the sunset.

Sadly, Jack Palance passed away today. Though most people remember him from "City Slickers," or "Batman," or doing one-armed push-ups at the Academy Awards, I will always think of him as the villain from my namesake movie, "Shane." Rest in peace, Jack!

And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

Thank goodness for mentors.

No, not for Mentos (the freshmaker). For mentors. You know, the teachers that take a liking to you and help you along your way in life outside of class. Traditionally in literature, they pick one student and groom him to take their place and marry their daughter, but I think that's because it's always the students who write those stories.

ANYWAY -- as you saw in my recent post about the new job, I've been conflicted about the change. Luckily for me, I have a mentor: Sheldon Patinkin, the chairman of Columbia College's theater department and one of the founders of the Second City. Because of Sheldon's connections, the school and the theater have had a close relationship over the years. Whenever I wonder why on earth Second City hired a fresh-out-of-college 22-year-old me and gave me a ton of responsibility (I don't know that I would have trusted me!), I remember that I had Sheldon's recommendation, and that goes a LONG way in this town. In fact, it was more than a recommendation -- as I recall he phoned the producer and said, "I'm sending someone over for you to hire." : ) He saw my potential, supported and encouraged me all the way through school, and helped me land my first professional gig. If that's not the definition of a mentor, I don't know what is.

So, yesterday morning I was at a meeting at Columbia, which Sheldon was also attending, about remodelling the lobby of the studio theater. After the meeting, he pulled me aside to congratulate me on the new job. And then he said something that melted all those conflicts I'd been having. He said, "I knew in advance that they were going to offer you the job; and if you hadn't taken it, I'd have told you you were crazy."

Thanks, Sheldon. That's what I needed to hear, and I didn't even know it. And coming from you, it means more than I can say. You're a good friend, a great director, an awesome teacher, and an unbelievable mentor. Now if only you had a daughter. . . . .

And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

Oh, hell.

I was going to write something deep and insightful here, but I just had an unpleasant meeting and now I'm too wound up to do so. So, here are links to some stuff you should read on your own and think about:


MediaShift talks about Stephen Colbert and YouTube and the Viacom scandal.

Mark Steyn talks about supporting our troops and why he thinks it's bad to support them as people but not support their mission.

The Guardian talks to crazy stage director Deborah Warner about her newest shows.

An ad for new Pronto condoms -- possibly the greatest boon to safe sex since regular condoms.

The Bears blow it every time I leave town.

Ringling Bros. caves to the lowest common denominator and the Tribune hates it.


And now, here it is -- your Moment of Zen:

Wedding bells.

There weren't actually any bells at the wedding I attended in Pittsburgh this weekend, but it sounded like a good title for the post.

My old friend Chris Sutton (who came through Chicago not long ago in the national tour of "Spamalot") got married to his girlfriend Lyn Philistine on Saturday. Kingston and I decided to fly down for the festivities. We expected to be joined by another old friend from the summer stock days, Shaun Morgan, but at the last minute he ended up not being able to come.

It was an interesting couple of days. Kingston flew out on Friday, and was there for the rehearsal dinner, but I had a Galileo show that night in Chicago. I flew out on Saturday morning, although I ended up wishing I had been there on Friday because it sounds like it was a lot of fun. It also would have been nice to get to know folks Friday night so I didn't feel so overwhelmed at the reception on Saturday. It was a HUGE wedding, and I only knew a few people there, and I don't do well in big crowds, so although I had a blast the whole rest of the time, the reception itself left me a little nonplussed -- but most of them do. It was an amazing dinner, though, and the desserts were the best I've ever seen.

The wedding itself was absolutely beautiful. It was in a very old, very pretty church.




The bride and groom are such a great couple, and were so obviously overjoyed to be marrying each other that you couldn't help but smile.



I did feel underdressed, especially since a) my electric razor turned on somehow in my bag and was totally out of charge when I went to shave, and b) because Kingston looked so killer ("Follow the money," indeed).



The roaming mandolin player at the post-wedding, pre-reception hors d'oeuvres was one of my favorite parts of the trip. Lyn's family is VERY Italian, and this was a great touch.



Those are all the pictures I have. What else can I say about the trip? Chris's family is an amazing group of incredibly nice, funny, good-looking people (three daughters and four sons). It's enough to make one jealous, but they're all so charming that you can't help but like them. I had met most of them, but it was years and years ago, so it was great to see them again and get to know them as adults.

There was much eating, much drinking, some poker playing, and a lot of good conversation. It was a fun weekend!

Color me conflicted.....

.....but then send me flowers anyway, because I've got some good news: I've got a new job! Or, I will have a new job on January 11th, when I take over as the resident stage manager of the Second City ETC. On the one hand, yay! But then on the other hand, now I have to leave Columbia. I've gotten better and better over the years about not being so wishy-washy, but the fact remains that making a choice always involves making a sacrifice. That, and I'm just bad at endings. Quitting a job and breaking up with a girlfriend are quite possibly the two things I hate most in the world.

Questions that this huge change in my life raises:

-- Will I actually be happier at this job? I've lost count of how many "dream jobs" I've finally landed, only to be bitterly disappointed with the reality. Wait, no I haven't -- there've been five.

-- If you work for a company that has a MySpace profile, are you morally obligated to add it as your friend?

-- Will I survive the changeover? I've promised Columbia that I will stay until they find a replacement, or until ETC goes into the process of writing their next show (currently scheduled to happen in April). But that could mean as much as 3 months of working both jobs! Good for the checkbook, not so good for the sleeping.

-- Will this affect my social life for better or worse? On the one hand, I will be more likely to hang out with my co-workers. On the other hand, I will never be able to go out on a Friday or Saturday night again. On the third hand, I might end up a bitter alcoholic.

-- Will it matter if I end up a bitter alcoholic, as long as I get my name on the big alumni list in the front window of the theater? The day I first see my name up there on the same list with Bill Murray and John Belushi, et al, will be a high point of my life.

-- Can self-promotion serve as a Moment of Zen?

And furthermore...

Updated yesterday's political post this morning.

If you're wondering why you can't follow the link I put up about the fake boarding passes, it's because the FBI has shut the site down. The point of the site was that there's a hole in the security system. Shutting down the site doesn't fix the hole. Morons.

In other news, it looks like maybe it is too soon for our bowling team to be named the Stingrays.

And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

Poli-ticks.

Well, heck. I had run across the following passage awhile ago, and wanted to tell you about it, but I thought it was too long. Then I ran across the second item in today's Utne Newsletter. So, I'm feeling a little bitter and you are going to be forced to listen to it.

From "Assassination Vacation" by Sarah Vowell:


"I can never make up my mind whether Maryland is off-beat or just off-putting. I probably would have felt the same way if I were passing through in the 1860s too. While technically Maryland remained in the Union during the Civil War, it was the border state, a schizophrenic no-man's-land with the North at its door and the South in its heart.

Listen to its state song. Sung to the tune of the German Christmas carol, "O Tannenbaum," "Maryland, My Maryland," was written as the Civil War was breaking out in 1861. The first line goes, "The despot's heel is on thy shore." Who is the despot? The new president, Lincoln, who, it's worth remembering, had to sneak into Washington for his inauguration so as to avoid the assassins waiting to jump him in Baltimore, a city which, in the song, is rhymed with "patriotic gore," commemorating the blood spilled on its streets on April 19, 1861, when a mob of local seccessionists attacked a Massachusetts regiment passing through town. "Maryland, My Maryland," the song says, "spurns the Northern scum!" The song also calls for seceding from the Union, to stand by its sister state Virginia, going so far as to allude to that state's motto, Sic semper tyrannis:

Virginia should not call in vain,
Maryland!
She meets her sisters on the plain -
Sic semper! 'tis the proud refrain

Sic semper tyrannis, of course, was the proud refrain hollered by Maryland's own John Wilkes Booth after making good on shooting the aforementioned "despot" Lincoln at war's end. One might think that a state song hinting at presidential assassination would have eerie echoes when that state's native son assassinated said president and therefore it might be headed for the title of "state song emeritus," the dustbin into which Virginia herself tossed its racist favorite "Carry Me Back to Old Virginny." But "Maryland, My Maryland" did not become the official state song until 1939. Despite the occasional nice try to ditch it, it remains the state song to this day.

All of which could be written off as harmless symbolism, almost laughable anachronism. However, careful readers who are also symbolism devotees would have noticed that the date in 1861 when the Baltimore mob clashed with the Massachusetts soldiers was April 19 -- Patriot's Day -- the anniversary of Lexington and Concord, when the first shots were fired in the Revolutionary War. It is also the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.

When Timothy McVeigh bombed the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, he was wearing a T-shirt. On the back of the T-shirt, perhaps as a nod commemorating Patriot's Day, was the famous quote from Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." On the front of McVeigh's shirt was a picture of Abraham Lincoln. Printed under Lincoln's face was the caption "Sic semper tyrannis." McVeigh ordered his shirt from a catalog sent out to subscribers of Southern Partisan, the pro-Confederate magazine. As if McVeigh wearing the shirt isn't disgusting enough, the catalog sold out of most sizes of the shirt after McVeigh made the news. People actually heard that a mass murderer responsible for 168 deaths was wearing clothing celebrating another murder and they wanted to dress up like him. According to media watchdogs Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting, by December of that year, the catalog reassured Partisan readers who had ordered the shirt:

Due to a surprising demand for our anti-Lincoln T-shirt,
our stock has been reduced to odd sizes. If the enclosed
shirt will not suffice, we will be glad to refund your money
or immediately ship you another equally militant shirt
from our catalog.

And if the shirts were too big or too small, the readers could have cheered themselves up with one of the fetching, one-size-fits-all bumper stickers like "Clinton's military: a gay in every porthole, a fag in every foxhole."

If the shirt's popularity with readers of Southern Partisan, a magazine on the fringes, seems just that -- on the fringes -- three years after McVeigh inspired the shirt's commercial success, a Missouri senator would do an interview with the magazine announcing, "Your magazine also helps set the record straight. You've got a heritage of doing that, of defending Southern patriots like [Robert E.] Lee, [Stonewall] Jackson and [Confederate President Jefferson] Davis. Traditionalists must do more. I've got to do more. We've all got to stand up and speak in this respect, or else we'll be taught that these people were giving their lives, subscribing their sacred fortunes and their honor to some perverted agenda." And if that random senator still seems on the fringe, what with representing Missouri and/or kookily complaining about Jeff Davis's bad rap, it's worth noting that three years after saying that, the Missouri senator, John Ashcroft, became the attorney general of the United States, which is to say, the highest-ranking law enforcement official in all the land."


See, that's what gets me. The total lack of a sense of propriety that some politicians have. I call it "summer-camp syndrome," they all hang out together there in Washington, and they essentially have their own set of rules and ways of doing things (that's what "privilege" means -- it's from the Latin for "private law"), and they simply forget how we do things out here in the rest of the world. It happened when Supreme Court Justice Scalia wouldn't recuse himself from ruling on whether Dick Cheney had illegally influenced Halliburton getting contracts, despite the fact that Scalia and Cheney are old buddies who go hunting together three or four times a year. Now, I don't know that Scalia acted improperly, but for god's sake Supreme Court Justices should be doing everything in their power to avoid ANY APPEARANCE of impropriety.

Here are the new ones that I found in the last few days:

Donald Rumsfeld's summer home, Mount Misery (note that it's located in Maryland), is the former site of a special farm where rebellious slaves could be sent to be broken. Read the article, and this one about Dick Cheney and global warming, and try not to feel your civic spirit shrivel and die.

And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

Walpurgisnacht

Random weirdness abounds.

First, here is an obituary from London newspaper The Telegraph that I was convinced for quite awhile was a Halloween joke. The obit, for one Lieutenant-Colonel John Trenchard Pine-Coffin, contains, among other hilarious anecdotes about the Colonel's life, the following:

"In 1963 he was in Nassau when he was ordered to investigate a party of Cuban exiles that had infiltrated Andros Island, part of the Bahamas. His seaplane landed in thick mud and Pine-Coffin decided that his only chance of reaching dry land was to strip off. On coming ashore, plastered in mud and wearing only a red beret and a pair of flippers, he was confronted by a party of armed Cubans. Mustering as much authority as he could in the circumstances, he informed the group that they were trespassing on British sovereign territory and were surrounded. The following morning, when the Royal Marines arrived to rescue him they were astonished to find him and his radio operator in a clearing standing guard over the Cubans and a pile of surrendered weapons."


Second, there's this scary, scary site that aims to point out the flaws in TSA security by letting you print fake boarding passes!


And lastly, reading last week's Entertainment Weekly the other day, I came across this amazing quote, from an interview with Food Network star Rachael Ray in their "Stupid Questions" column:


"EW: Do you ever worry that there can be only so much happiness in the universe, and that every time you smile, a unicorn gets punched in the face?

Rachael: I would smile all day long, every day, if it guaranteed a unicorn getting punched in the face. I find them really annoying."


Now, some of you may know that Mikey B. and I have a bit of a private joke about unicorns, which resulted in my receiving the Avenging Unicorn Play Set for my birthday this year:

But on top of that, unicorns came up in conversation at lunch yesterday (during a discussion of people who believe patently impossible things), and then I came across this today from the Perry Bible Fellowship:


You can even buy the shirt yourself here.

So, what the hell, right? This is like the Peter Pan thing a few weeks ago. Why are there so many unicorns in my life all of a sudden? Intertextuality? Or something more? Is the universe trying to tell me something? I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to know. Leave me alone, fortune cookie gods!

And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

A hamburger pumpkin! (The site I found it on called it a Big Mac, but Big Macs don't have tomatoes. So I thought it was a Whopper, but then I remembered that Whoppers don't have sesame seeds. So it's just a hamburger.)

Que es mas macho?

This post doesn't really have anything to do with macho-ness. I was just thinking of the Laurie Anderson song "Smoke Rings" in which she is apparently on a quiz show asking that question of unrelated objects. As in, "La segunda pregunta es: Que es mas macho, lightbulb o schoolbus?" (The answer of course is schoolbus.) Anyway, I'm about to compare two semi-unrelated things. Here we go:


Which are you more excited to hear?

Aimee Mann's new Christmas album,

or

Scarlett Johansson covering Tom Waits?


I'm going to go with Aimee, simply because she covers "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" on it, and I can't think of a more fitting tribute to the late, grrr-eat Thurl Ravenscroft (who sang the original, as well as being the voice of Tony the Tiger). But, I reserve the right to change my mind if Scarlett decides to cover "What's He Building?"

; D

Either way, I think I win. Oh, and PS: Don't forget to "fall back" this Saturday when you go to bed!

And now, here it is -- your Moment of Zen:

Geek out.

Okay, all you norms can stop reading now. This post is only for my fellow geeks and nerds. Did you know, by the way, that the word "nerd" was coined by Dr. Seuss? Well, now you know. And (say it with me!) knowing is half the battle.

So, first stop today is "Arden," the new MMORPG based on the plays of one William Shakespeare. Here is my favorite part of the article:

The game will instantly immerse players in Elizabethan environments, and successful players will, it is hoped, soak in the characters, as well as the plotlines, of Shakespeare's plays.

Castronova is utilizing unusual methods to achieve that goal.

He said one of the more unique elements of "Arden" is that the game will be seeded with Shakespearean texts, many of which will be the most valuable treasure players can find.

"If you collect the 'To be or not be' speech and then take it to a lore master or to a skilled bard, he can then apply the magic to your broad sword or you (could) utilize the magic in a battle situation to give you this massive (advantage)," Castronova explained. "So there (will be) this intensive competition to get the best speeches of Shakespeare in your play book.

"You've got to know your Shakespeare, but...if you do, collect these texts and you can just playfully kick butt the way wizards do."

Hey, I'm pretty thoroughly familiar with Shakespeare's texts -- I guess I must have a massive... advantage. If you know what I mean (yeah, that's the ticket).

; )

Our next stop is at Worth1000.com - a site for posting Photoshopped images. They run themed contests that folks can enter, and they're never less than interesting to check out. Recently they ran a Star Wars Celebrity Mash-up contest that cracked me up. Here is a selection of my personal favorite submissions (consider it a massive... Moment of Zen):

First up, two choice Rowan Atkinsons.






And now a couple of lovely ladies.






Some random silliness.




And some optional casting for our old pal Yoda.

Movie time - October edition.

It's been a long time since I have seen any movies, so I'm excited to have 3 of them to share with you today.

1) Junebug. I know, I'm behind the curve on this one. But I finally got it, thanks to the miracle of Netflix, and can now join the ranks of the hip and trendy once again. On the other hand, it was a hard movie to watch. As we would say in theater parlance, they made very strong choices, and I respect them immensely for that, but they're not the choices that I would have made. In other words, they did a really great job of making a story that I don't want to see. I'm sure that has a lot to do with me and my current emotional state, but I'm reminded of the Tom Lehrer quote: "I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is shut up!" I know that communicating is hard, and I know that a lot of people in the world don't or can't do it. But do I need to watch a whole movie about that? Where's the redemption? At least the scenes with the crazy outsider artist were amusing.

2) Jackass: Number 2. This is just not a movie that you can go see by yourself. Luckily, since there was no Bears game on Sunday, I was able to convince Chris to go with me. Mandy was going to come too, but she fell ill. There's really no point in debating the artistic merits of something like this, but I do have a few things to say. We laughed pretty much constantly all the way through. It wasn't as good as the first one -- among other things, all of the guys except Johnny Knoxville seemed to be regretting their decision to appear. Too much whining, and not enough evil joy (there was some evil joy, but it was always at someone else's expense -- there was very little revelling in one's own pain). And the opening sequence wasn't nearly as good as Number 1's was, but the closing sequence more than made up for it.

3) Little Children. Thanks to Time Out, Mikey B. and I got to go to a sneak preview of this on Monday. Goddamn but it's good! The director, Todd Field, does a great job of blending multiple genres together into something completely new. It's like tasting a new recipe -- full of ingredients that you wouldn't have thought to combine, but delicious nonetheless. The cast is uniformly amazing. There's been a lot of buzz from film festivals about Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson's performances, but I think Jennifer Connelly should be getting a Best Supporting nomination. The rest of the supporting actors are perfectly cast as well, especially Noah Emmerich (previously great as Jim Carrey's best friend in "The Truman Show") as a frustrated ex-cop, and Jackie Earl Haley (who as a child actor was one of the Bad News Bears!) as the local pedophile. The movie consistently surprised, tormented and delighted me, and I highly recommend it. But please remember, it's just my opinion ; )

And now, here it is - your Moment of Zen:

Takin' care of busy-ness.

When I was in college, I had a couple of friends named Pam and Bill. The three of us were very fond of the joke where when someone says "How are you?" you say, "Busy." I know, it's not really that funny, but there you are. Anyway, eventually that evolved into a new joke where whenever the three of us saw each other, instead of asking "How are you?" we would ask each other, "Are you busy?" And then the other person would say "Yeah, I'm busy. Are you busy?" And we would basically bombard each other with as many uses of the word busy as we could for a few seconds before going on our way. It was silly, but little inside jokes like that can really cement a relationship in a way that few other things can.

Anyway, I've been thinking about that this week as I've been very busy, but whenever anyone has asked me why I'm so busy (or when I try to think of something to write about here), I can't seem to point to any one specific thing that's taking up my time. I've just been bomambarded with busy-ness.

Pretty much all of it has been at work. The first mainstage show of the semester opened tonight. I don't usually have a lot of specific jobs on the mainstage shows, but I try to be around the theater a lot so that I can a) be available in case of an emergency (like when they blew a fuse backstage in the middle of the show on Friday and all the running lights went out), and b) so that I can catch any little details that I see slipping through the cracks. So far this show has been relatively free of big problems. So were the first freshman project of the year and the first student directed project (two of my protege students worked on those, so I wasn't worried about them). But the second student project hit a big snag. I'm not going to gossip, and you wouldn't know any of the people involved anyway, but I saw the trouble coming, and worked to keep it under control; but it blew up in our faces anyway and the hammer had to come down hard. I hate it when the hammer has to come down hard. I'm just too empathic -- I have a very hard time doing something I know will hurt someone else's feelings (especially if I have to look them in the eyes while I do it to them). It was a problem at the Apollo and it's a problem in my personal life, and it's a problem now. I want to believe in actions having consequences, but I just don't want to be the hammer, you know? Does that make any sense?

Eh. I'm rambling. I'm going to shut up now and go to bed. G'night!

Oh, but before I go, here it is - your Moment of Zen:


(Nan will know what this refers to.)